Hello, Lovely Soul Drop! It has been 5 months since I last wrote here. Many things have changed, and somehow they remain the same.
I have a job now! I’m an English teacher at the same school I studied at. It has been insane. It’s my first official job, and I have many memories flooding back. I was 17 when I graduated from school. Now, I’m a 24 year old Modern Languages Bachelor.
My school life was filled with: pain, bullying, loss, depression, confusion, anger, and growth. I’m grateful for those 15 years despite how miserable I felt the whole time. Without those formative years, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
Due to the stress I’ve been under, I started having suicidal thoughts again. However? This time it was entirely different. I haven’t self-harmed, I haven’t collapsed so badly that I’m not able to go to school, and I have many tools I didn’t have before. Just like my partner reminded me, I don’t really want to die. My mind is filled with too much noise, still, if I go beyond the darkness I can look at the myriad of dreams and hopes that live within my soul.
I’m in a lot of pain, I’m exhausted, and I’m overwhelmed. At the same time, I’m also excited, hopeful, and ready to see what the future holds. Progress was never meant to be a straight line. Just like our heartbeat, the lines go up and down, and that’s life.
Thank you to anyone reading this! Please share if you liked it.
Hoping the best for you 🤍 keep it up!
Blessings to you!