Hello, Lovely Soul Drop!
Today's the seventh day of the week and the seventh day of 2024. Coincidences like that make me extremely happy. Sure, it isn't a huge thing, yet it makes me smile. I want to enjoy those parts of me without judgment.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, judgment could be either your ability to discern or an opinion you generate. In that regard, I wish to find happiness in coincidences, symbolism, and beliefs I've either gathered or created for no reason at all. There's no need for me to label those practices as good, bad, or anything else, I can just partake in them because they bring me joy. Some things don't need to be judged or labeled.
However, judging isn't always bad. Casting judgments on philosophies, ways of life, events, or situations isn't a negative thing. I highly value critical thinking and sound judgment. If a person is constantly hurting me either physically or emotionally I can judge them as not being a good friend or someone I shouldn't engage with if it isn't absolutely necessary. I can judge the practice of torturing animals as a negative experience that harms others and something I never want to be part of. We require judging to stay in the paths we have chosen for ourselves.
You can judge without being mean and without cutting off people. I know I don't want to be Catholic because the opinion I created about the religion itself is that it doesn't fit with me, but that doesn't mean I'm judging all Catholics as evil. My Catholic friends are people I've judged as worth building a relationship with, that's the opinion I've formed about them. Having an opinion is not a bad thing, and people shouldn't be trying to shut down everyone else because of their differing opinions. We have different religious beliefs and yet we are close friends that love each other deeply. Our opinions don't oppose one another so badly that we can't appreciate who we are as humans.
Opinions aren't facts so they aren't correct or incorrect. They are conclusions or beliefs we have that come from different brain processes. Bias is the brain trap I try my best to avoid or at least pinpoint. I want to be as critical in my thinking as I'm able to. So, what's critical thinking? According to Michael Scriven and Richard Paul (2003) quoted by the University of Louisiana, it is: "the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action." That means I like my opinions to have some level of reasoning behind them. I want my beliefs to be supported in the analysis I've made of them prior. To do that I need to judge the information I'm given.
I don't need to judge my religious and philosophical practices because I've already done so in the past. Once again, it's all about the middle ground. I need to judge myself so I know where I can improve and what I need to grow as a person, be healthier, be more productive, or achieve my goals in life. Nonetheless, if I judge myself 24/7 with the eye of a perfectionist I will paralyze myself or end up destroying my self-esteem. Questioning my beliefs is great to avoid echo chambers or to realize my thoughts have changed, but I can't be so critical of my thinking that I'm unable to form any kind of opinion.
I share my mind online a lot, I share my judgments, and I share why I think the way I do. That doesn't mean I believe the people or ways of thinking I'm judging are below me or evil. I'm just stating where my reasoning has led me and where my opinions come from. Whenever I change my mind then I share why and what's my new stance. Judgment is what all humans require to understand themselves and the world around them. It helps us choose where to put our focus, how we want to live, why we think one way or the other, and what we can do to improve. Judging isn't a negative thing in itself.
I've judged my mom, that's how I know she's an incredible mom and that I want to have a good relationship with her despite our different mindsets. I've judged my partner; that's how I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I've judged my friends, my job, and my life in general. Those judgments help me see which relationships to strengthen, which steps I need to take, and if I feel good about my choices. Judging is what keeps me centered. I just need to avoid being so critical of everything, being so perfectionist, being so stiff and rigid, that nothing will ever be good enough for me. That's the balance I'm looking for. Judge whenever I need it, and let go whenever I've made my choice.
Thank you so much for reading!
With much love,
Belle.
Wise words