Hello, Lovely Soul Drop!
Two days and 2023 will be over. A few weeks ago, I thought I was also over, and that getting to the next year wasn’t necessarily something I desired.
Luckily, I feel that has changed. I want to face 2024 like I have faced myself. Patiently learning to deal with it and hopefully bring out the best it has to offer.
This year has taught me 3 things (many more, but I can sum it up in these three)
1. The connections we create with others either charge you or drain you: I started working at my school as an English teacher, and man is it exhausting! However, some of the students charge me up and others drain me. Some people lend me their energy while others take mine away. Of course, I can’t choose to give classes only to those who charge me up. However, I can learn to focus on those that help me with my energy levels and learn to balance it out throughout the day. Having friends who charge me is also crucial to aiding me with my chronic fatigue and overstimulation issues. I can’t choose my coworkers or students, but I can choose which friendships I build and which ones are better off forgotten.
2. Failing can’t stop me: I’m deeply aware that I self-sabotage myself most of the time. I have been trying to fix my self-worth issue for over a decade. Regardless of how hard I try; I fall back on my old habits. If I keep failing, why keep trying? Well, I fail less and less every time. I have been self-harm-free for ten months, and even though I still itch for the blade from time to time I feel less and less ready to destroy myself. Failing or falling back doesn’t mean I can’t achieve my goals. With every fall I stand back up stronger.
3. Time doesn’t heal everything: Although time does help emotional and physical wounds heal, both need tending to as well. I had to go to many funerals this year, and I’m aware I have many left to go to. Crying, working through my emotions, and self-reflecting helped me heal those wounds that loss has inflicted. Without mending my emotional wounds and taking care of my physical ailments I would only get worse and bleed all over others. Just waiting it out isn’t enough, I have to face whatever my pain is trying to teach me.
Every year is an opportunity to grow, and so is every single moment. Thank you so much for reading, and I wish you a wonderful 2024 filled with growth, magic, love, health, and joy!